Or Google. In which case, I wouldn't be penning this column from a draughty desk in Edinburgh; I'd be counting my gold bars in some sun drenched tax haven while sipping mango daiquiris and sneering at the likes of me. Such are the benefits of hindsight..

I'm involved in some groups, but I get the distinct impression that people wish I wouldn't go to their events, and I certainly wouldn't call the people there friends. I've tried going to events by myself, but it is expensive, embarrassing and has never even resulted in a conversation, let a friendship. I've tried going to website meetups, but they are either meetups in name only, attended only by the staff and their close friends even though the link's posted publicly, so I feel like I'm crashing a party, or they're places where I meet a lot of people for an hour or so and never see anyone else again.

The drop is 22 inches and the lantern measures 10 inches across and 13 inches tall. It is illuminated with 2 60 watt soft white